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I know. I took a whole year off and I’m posting maybe once a month.

Well, a lot has happened this year. 2020 was supposed to be super cool. I mean, come on, 2020. We all high high hopes for that number.

It’s done nothing but disappoint. I left 2019 on top of the world. I had a hot girlfriend, was killing it at work (still am) could walk outside, breath the fresh air, also I got a break from my amazing, beautiful, hilarious and life-changing son at least 8 HOURS A DAY.

Damn you coronavirus.

I have been so proud of who I am, where I am and what I’m doing with my life. But man, this has been a beat down. From parenting to dating to just my drive as a person in life, I have felt defeated. I have stumbled, failed, just flat out fucked up in so many areas. I would love to throw it all at this global virus, but I was already working from home, still have a job and have people in my life I care about, so I’m the least that should be affected right?

Lots of posts are going out that either say you should be doing life-changing things with your free time or do you think Carole Baskin from Tiger King killed her husband? I lean towards yes, but he did say he was gonna pull off this big stunt ever if he got away with it.

Here’s my point. I’ve been told lately I’m bad at getting at it. Expectations are expected to leave you disappointed. This month, this year, I’ve been left disappointed. In myself. In others. In the world.

So the upside? That’s what comes next right? Well, guess what? Yeah, you’ll be disappointed by that too. People will disappoint you. You will let yourself down. The world…well, that’s where there’s a surprise.

I’ve seen more stories of people helping each other. Through financial support. Through love, sacrifice; through doing things so unexpected and inspiring that I have no choice but to think to myself…No. You’re fucking wrong. There is good in the world. There is good in people. People are not the lowest common denominator.

There is so. much. beauty in the world and I don’t even had to focus on it. It’s overwhelming.

The world is going to look so different by the end of the year. But that has to be a good thing right? We are looking out for each other far more than we aren’t. We are coming together I believe more than we ever have. We, together, are changing the world.

I can’t wait to see where I am. Where we are. Together.

Because I’ve been struggling over here. But I know I’m not alone. I’ll get through this.

With you.